There’s no business like show-off business!
Lovely: delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace.
Braindrops: The few splotches of ideas pertaining to a future creative project.
What does “Lovely Braindrops” mean to me? Lovely, physical beauty? Yes, but not just surface shallow.
Darkness or black is often portrayed as bad, with light and shining as good. When one looks at the universe, it is mostly darkness of an incomprehensible void, yet the force of gravity acts throughout the void to draw together the small, desolate particles and in the darkness bind them.
Into pinpricks of nuclear fire that shine in defiance across the light-years. It is said without darkness, there can be no light. This is not true. Until recombination after the Big Bang there was only light, yet without darkness and the cold of the void, there could be no fusion, no stardust from which to create life.
It is the harmony of darkness and light that allows those few splotches of defiant light that allow for the forging of life, of intelligence. Graced with its presence, a project of future creation, forever becoming!
Every summer holiday I take a week off of work. This is my time to get away; from work, from the city, from all the ‘junk’ of my everyday life.
This past Labor Day week was no exception, but it certainly wasn’t my usual holiday break either.
Ever since last year I’ve been hoping to take my love of being outdoors to the next level. At first I thought this would only mean going out for more walks and runs, maybe a destination hike. Then I read about a Nude 5k in Idaho. Shortly thereafter I learned there was a similar 5k right here in Kansas. Due to COVID that race did not happen this year, but the desire to get nude in nature was still there. So, the hunt was on; where could NPE and I go this summer to get some quality nature time? Believe it or not, Oklahoma.
Fellow bloggers and an internet search pointed us to a Naturist resort called Oaklake Trails. They boasted of 6mi of hiking trails, a pool, and of course, the option to do it all in the nude. The proximity to home was certainly nice, and a grueling 150mi running challenge in Tulsa for NPE provided a great ‘cover event’.
As is typical, I had some reservations about how this was going to go. I really wasn’t sure it’d end up happening in the first place. NPE is a solitary kind of person, and I half expected this may prove to be a bit much for him. 300 miles and our devices provides a lot of ‘courage’ that may not carry over when the distance is completely eliminated. I was mentally prepared either way; this may or may not happen, and that was perfectly fine either way. I packed accordingly, optimistically throwing in my hiking stick. Once he confirmed we were scheduled for a visit I could get down to worrying about everything else… primarily if I was going to act ‘weird’ unintentionally. I was actually pretty worried I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes at face level. Let’s be honest here, where my eyes focus when I look at nudes is NOT in the facial region! It occurred to me, quite a while later, that I could probably look wherever I wanted and not have anyone notice; my eye condition demands the wearing of sunglasses while outdoors, so no worries there. I was maybe a little worried about body image, but only a very little bit. The ‘jiggle’ as I move, just, ugh! I also opted not to go clean=shaven as I do normally, as a sunburnt pussy just sounds like the base definition of hell. That was the one thing I did in preparation for the trip, just in case it actually did end up happening. I wasn’t about to get caught in the sun unprotected! Less sexy, more practical!
NPE and I are close friends; never dated, never intimate. Obviously we’d seen each other’s bodies, but never in person. In Tulsa the question came up as to whether we should share a hotel room or get separate. It was decided that it was more practical to share, and kind of silly not to in light of our plans for the next day. I did take this opportunity to go about my usual routines as I usually would; in the nude. I figured the time for any awkwardness was at the hotel, not at the resort. If it was too weird, we still had time to back out in a private sort of way. While I cannot speak for him, for myself there was no such feeling of awkward. He made the comment that I was getting started early on the naturist part of our trip, and said I looked lovely, so I felt pretty sure we were all good.
I wasn’t so sure we were ‘all good’ a few hours later. We pulled up to the gates at OLT and called to be let in. We were right on time, per the scheduling, we thought. Nope, early. They couldn’t meet with us until later, which was about the time of day we would need to be leaving to head back to Nebraska. Damn. So close! Drove all that way…. and then they decided to let us come in, do a quick meet n greet n sign papers, and then everyone could get on with their day. Phew! So grateful for kind people! So, we got the rules, signed all the papers, and were handed off to another member who gave us a golf cart tour of the resort. He showed us around, and it was obvious how much he loved the place and the people. It was easy to see why; the resort is simple, and simply beautiful. Before we had even finished the tour I was wondering to myself how I could score a work-from-home job and move to Oklahoma! The trails looked very inviting, but that swimming pool… that was going to be a must!
For the sake of time, we did the tour clothed. Our new friend dropped us back at the car, and it was the moment of truth. There were strangers around, and open space. Maybe I really couldn’t do this…. “Boldly Go” I could hear Captain Picard in my head. Well, alright then… undressing in the sunshine is an interesting sensation. The body expects to feel cooler after a garment is removed, but the sun on bare skin has a warming effect, until the breeze comes to play. It was above 90, so the breeze felt very good! The worse part was applying sunscreen. I abhor lotion. It feels worse than clothes. Sunburn however feels worse than anything, especially in sensitive areas. The sunscreen was non-optional. The only twinge of awkward I felt was asking NPE to apply sunscreen to the middle of my back. Partially awkward because I hate asking for anything, and partially because that was more physical contact than we’d ever had and certainly the closest we’d been to each other without clothing.
As our time was limited, and we’d come for the hiking trails, we started out hiking right away. Once we were moving everything felt perfectly normal again… except extra wonderful sensations of sun and breeze on every inch of skin! It really felt like soaking up the energy around me; from the sun, the wind, the nature we were so fully immersed in. I felt so free, alive, strong. I even forgot how fat I feel I am. I felt… skinny! Seems silly, but yeah, I felt beautiful.
The very beginning of the trail we took was in fairly open grassland. The breeze here was so soothing, and it felt ‘homey’, and reminded me of the pasture at home and my Sindiana Jones photo shoot I had done there earlier in the summer. I love wide open spaces!
The next part of the trail brought us into the trees. The sun/shade was about 50/50, so the alternating sensations of sun and shade on the skin was interesting. As the trail was harder for me to see in the constantly varying light NPE and I walked close to one another, hand in hand. As this is generally just a function of him helping me navigate, us holding hands doesn’t have the same ‘feels’ as it would otherwise, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice on another level beyond function. It’s nice being close to him. We don’t speak much, but we seem to communicate in other ways, and I felt very close to him there in the woods.
The trail led us to the ‘lake’ at the center of the resort; true to name, a like surrounded by oak trees and trails. I, for some reason, have a particular ‘thing’ for bodies of water. They seem to put me in a deep calm. They also make for the best photo backdrops. NPE and I certainly took advantage of the beauty to get some very nice photos. We also took this chance to just sit and rest and enjoy the quiet and the nature and everything about the moment we were in. There was a picnic table on the shore, and we sat there just looking out over the lake. It’s really just a pond, but I guess perhaps you could call it a cozy-sized lake. It’s surrounded by trees and the grass goes right up to the waters edge. It’s very still since the breezes don’t get through the trees much. Looking out over the water put me in a deeply thoughtful mood, and a talkative one too I guess. I don’t know why we had the conversation we had, or why the subject was so sad in such a sunny and lovely place, but perhaps that little cozy lake was there to take those deep thoughts from me and put them to rest. We talked about loss, addiction, value of life vs quality of life, suicide. “Life is precious, but it’s not THAT precious.”. All this thrown into the depth and breadth of that little lake.
As we were walking back from the lake to the pool area I felt lighter, happier, more ‘put together’ in some way, maybe healed in some inperceptable way. I also was hot, sweaty, and dying to check out the pool!
As we were back in the area where people gathered I again felt slightly unsure of myself. I noticed however that it was my normal uncertainty; not about where I was looking, or where they were looking, or anything to do with the nudity; just my usual wariness of humanity, but even that was dulled down from it’s usual state. When you are somewhere where you know the people around you are there for the same reason you yourself are, it pulls away so many of the hesitations you have about the strangers around you. You know for a certainty, without even exchanging a word, that you have something fundamentally in common. For someone with social anxiety, that is one of the most freeing aspects of a social gathering; to know that you are almost automatically included.
So, the pool was pure heaven! Again, there’s that ‘thing’ I have with water…. it felt incredible! If you’ve never been for a nude swim, you’re totally missing out! You wouldn’t think such a thing as a swimsuit would make much difference, but I’m telling you, it does. It’s the difference between wearing gloves and not wearing gloves. The sensation of touch; from the water, from the sun, from the breeze… it’s all uninhibited, pure, magnified. I have this floating meditation that I do when I swim; I am able to just float on the water effortlessly for as long as I want, and it’s so relaxing as to be able to quiet my mind and really truly meditate. This was a perfect opportunity. It wasn’t hard to just ‘be’ in that moment; the water was cool, the sun was warm, the breeze caressing. I could hear voices without listening to them, as well as a bird or two, and no ‘city’ noises. It was probably the most rejuvenating thing I’ve done for myself all year, maybe in several years. I thought of so many things, and of nothing at all. Felt completely separate from the world, and yet connected to the cosmos. Queen of everything, and ghost of the empty spaces inbetween. Yeah, it was definitely a ‘moment’!
The sun was steadily becoming less warm, and I began to ask NPE what time it was, and said we should probably be thinking about getting ready for our long drive home. As we’d just decided we were going to go, one of the people who’d been in the pool while we were there introduced himself and we began to talk to him; mostly of travel and interesting places we’d been. I’m nut usually a fan of human interaction, but I did come away glad that we’d talked to him. So often I feel I meet people with whom I have no kind of connection. At OLT I felt completely different about the people we met. I’ll be looking forward to meeting them again, and that’s not a usual thing for me. It’s a new kind of ‘nice’. As we were finishing our chat with our new friend, it began to sprinkle. The clouds had moved in, signaling the end of our outdoor adventure and the beginnings of the first fall-like weather to come to the region. It was time for us to go.
NPE had a photo idea he wanted to do before we went, and I wanted to dry off before trying to drag myself back into clothes. We took a walk to the storm shelter, which boasts a pretty cool painting of a tornado on the side of it. A friend of mine is a storm charter, and I’m interested in weather and storms and tornadoes as well, and it’s just a cool painting in general. So, we walked up there, got our pictures, and then walked back to the car. On the way back we wondered briefly if maybe we weren’t heading in the wrong direction; the wind canoe up suddenly and very strong, even blowing something across the trail right in front of us. The temperature dropped, and the raindrops got a bit big for a moment. Nature was definitely letting us know it was about to get colder, like, right now! By the time we’d hurried back to the car it was all calm again.
NPE, a man who never ceases to find ways to impress and surprise me, had one last surprise in store. When we got back to the car he presented me with a custom ‘medal’. The pieces are all representative of something about me and/or my journey this past year; running, writing, naturism, personal growth, and resilience. If I were the crying type…. oh man, rivers of tears; happy, sentimental, ‘overwhelmed with the feels’ kind of tears. I’m not the crying type in the least, but all the feelings were certainly there, in addition to all the wonderful feelings I was already feeling from the past couple of hours of my life.
Over a lifetime we make a lot of memories. Some stick, others do not. There are days we will relive in our minds for the rest of our lives. Those couple of hours… they will be with me always. The picture in front of the storm shelter is symbolic to me. OLT, NPE, a beautiful day in a beautiful place, and the feeling of complete connection to nature and freedom from everything else. These memories are my shelter from life’s storms now. I can go back to this day and remember what ‘perfect’ feels like.
My 5k journey started just over one year ago. My naturist journey started just days later. Or did it? Perhaps we need to go back further….
1995 was my first year of middle school. Back then we called it ‘junior high’, or just simply ‘7th grade’. This was, unarguably, my best year of school. My grades were excellent, I was focused on my hobbies and interests, and I had science class with the guy I had a crush on.
But, it was a very rough school year as well. I learned that being blind was a barrier to playing sports, and some adults who were teachers by day and coaches immediately after last bell, were also horrible human-beings. After being told I was ‘in the way’ during volleyball practice (after being pulled from the team as a player because I couldn’t see the regulation white colored ball against the white colored gym walls, and instead being relegated to ‘student manager’, which was fancy-talk for ‘water girl’) and subsequently walking out of practice in tears, I learned that not ALL teacher-coaches were horrible human-beings… but I only put two and two together about one year ago.
Our history teacher was also the athletic director. He was also my home room teacher that year, and my passion-hobby at the time was the American Revolutionary War. A couple weeks or so after I walked out of the gym in tears, he pulled me out into the hallway during homeroom. I was the goody-two-shoes kid who never got into trouble, so this was strange to me. We sat on the stops in the hallway, and he said he’d heard what happened with volleyball. He said he had done some research and found a sport I could participate in as a blind person, and that if were interested, I could join the team right away. Then he said the sport was ‘cross country running’. He had me up to that point…. and quickly lost me. I was athletic, and I could run, but I hated it. It hurt. My chest, my throat, the stitch in my side, the stinging sensation in my skin and aches in my muscles. I hated it all. I flat turned him down. It didn’t even matter that the guy I had a crush on was on the team. Running was a ‘no way!’ In my teenage opinion. That was the STUPIDEST thing I did as a teenager! Now I realize just what that teacher-coach had done; the research, the support, the genuine caring. I threw it all back in his face without a single thought to the gift he had so painstakingly wrapped and given me. But, I didn’t think abou it at all… until March of 2019.
I’m an avid Facebook user. I love that I can connect with people in an indirect and low-key sort of way. Despite all the horrors of attending school, I still have classmates on my Facebook contacts. We’ve known each other since we were at least 5yrs old. I can’t say that any of them have been close friends, but I can say I’ve forgiven them for being horrible little children, and they’ve pretty much all turned out to be pretty good adults. One of these classmates was hard-hit in a flood back home, and many of the condolences were from people we had gone to school with. Many of them I hadn’t thought of since the last time I’d seen them. Some I was still connected with via Facebook. One name leapt out at me however; they guy from my 7th grade crush. He’d moved away by 9th grade, but I never forgot him. All these years later he was still the template to which I compared every male I would potentially date. My preferences for tall, thin, blonde, and genius-level intelligence all were directly influenced by him and my admiration from junior high. I’d searched for him on Facebook before, but the locations never matched up. All I ever found were old articles about highschool cross-country meets. Now, out of the blue, here he was, sending well-wishes to someone who’d been one of his closer friends in junior high. Definitely no doubt it was the right guy. I did something I never do; sent a friend request. He accepted it.
I’m never the person to initiate a social interaction. My social anxiety makes that nearly impossible for me to do, and I’m not one to make myself unnecessarily uncomfortable. I also perceived back in 1995 that my crush was even less likely to be comfortable with social intersection, and I did not get the impression that had changed a great deal 25 years later. I liked posed. He liked mine. I congratulated him on his running, which I wasn’t surprised to see he still participated in. I found out that he was still as competitive as he had been in the articles I found his name in from back in highschool. He won, often. It made me so happy to see his success, and I became quite a fan and supporter. I was inspired. I’m only 4mo older than him, but he was living the physical life he’d been living in highschool. I was living the physical life of some more my grandmothers age. I wanted to feel as good as I figured he probably felt. I hated running, and the pain associated with it, but surely it must not be so bad if someone can do it amazingly after 35 years of age. Following his success also fed into my own competitive nature. I found I wanted him to win, not just because we were friends, but because, for whatever reason, it MATTERED. Not much in my life at that point mattered, but his success DID. He was still the male template of my life, but now there was a real substance; caring about the actual person, and having their existence matter within your own existence. Being inspired is powerful stuff, and I was definitely inspired. I wanted to win like he did. But, man, I did not want to run! It floated around in my head as ethereal idea, but not something I’d probably ever do. So I just keep cheering on my friend, which my subconscious chewed on the idea, unbeknown to my conscious brain.
I’ve always been of a mindset which, in these politically charged times, would be called ‘leftist’. I don’t break the social rules, but I don’t believe in a lot of them either. COEXIST is my motto. DO NO HARM is my philosophy. I’m a deep thinker, and hold all the usual social taboos up against my philosophy. If what you do is not harming anything (nature, humanity, and to a lesser extent, self) than I see no reason to regulate it. So, when I saw an article about a nude 5k, I reposted it on Facebook. I tagged my running inspiration on it, saying that’d be an interesting experience, except for the sunburn. I didn’t think he’d even respond.
Perhaps a day later I received a PM from my running friend. It started out on the lines of “if this makes you uncomfortable just delete it and we’ll pretend it never happened’ followed by a link with an explanation that he had actually participated in a nude 5k, and made a blog video accounting the experience. Being of an open mind, and having received this from someone who was the body and mind of the ideal male, and a budding of genuine friendship having begun in the previous months, I opened the link.
No Pants Endurance (NPE) The quiet genius from junior high, the man-template, my running inspiration, and my dearest friend, is non other than our funny, deep, fabulously put together fellow blogger. Our friendship has evolved in a myriad of ways in 25 years. I probably nearly killed him with embarrassment in junior high when I sent him a Valentine cookie attached to a paper heart that read ‘friends’ (I last-minute opted out of the ‘I love you’ one… that would have killed him.), and I doubt he thought of me really at all. We didn’t talk back then. 25 years later he gets a Facebook request from the grownup version of the girl who went way out on a limb to to let her feelings be known. A few months later he would go out on a similarly unsteady limb and let that woman into a part of his life that is a closely guarded and reserved for the cyber world primarily.
It turns out NPE has inspired so many of the best things about my life. The video from his nude 5k was the deciding factor in getting me out of my bed and into running shoes. I’d seen all the great places he travelled on his runs. I saw the unique opportunity to do something amazingly freeing and thrilling and so much a part of the ideals and principles and philosophies I’d built my life around. I saw something I wanted to do badly enough for so many deep-set reasons that I didn’t even consciously realize, that I couldn’t not do it. I was going to RUN… for 3.1mi… nude.
This month marks a year since my 5k journey began. This month also marks a year since my Naturist journey began. That is when everything came together, a lifetime of things, all rolled up into a single obtainable goal. A week ago it all came together.
NPE and I did not run a nude 5k. We did a regular 10k later in the week however. We DID visit a Naturist resort in OK however, and very much enjoyed their wonderful hiking trails, and a skinny-dip in the pool after! The day was perfection! Stay tuned for my thoughts on my first Naturist Experience!Continue reading “Naturist Runner: An Obscure 25 Year Journey”
The original idea for a page called ‘Braindrops’ occurred many many years ago. I wanted a place away from Facebook where I could post my journal, dreams I’d dreamt, and random ramblings of my inner mind.
When I decided to join the world of nude photography there was no other name in my mind to call my page but ‘Braindrops’. Unfortunately my photography greatly limits my audience and is not how I imagined ‘Braindrops’ all those years ago.
I have finally found a name for my photography blog! ‘Braindrops’ was a play on words; thoughts falling from my brain like raindrops. While I hesitate to sexualize nudity, ‘Cumdrops’ (kinda like gumdrops) insisted on creation. And so, the link above will take you on my naturist journey from here on out! But don’t leave ‘Braindrops’ completely; my photos may be there, but my thoughts will continue to bloom here!
My posts will slowly be making their way to ‘Cumdrops’ over the next several weeks, so if a favorite post disappears here, it has been moved there!
I really have no idea where this blog is going to go… I love to write, to photograph, to simply be present and alive! My interests are many and varied, and my insights often deep, raw, and soul-baring. You never know what you may read here… just as I do not yet know what I will write! I can promise it will be an adventure for us both! Here we go…!!!
I want to go back and tell my 12 year old self “You’re never too old to pretend.” I distinctly remember sitting on a downed log with that very same stick in hand, tears rolling down my face, telling myself I was going to have to give up the very best part of me; my ability to create adventure. This weekend I finally relit those embers, for they never did die out completely, and the best part of me is still alive!
Special thanks to NPE for naming my title character, and I’m sure Sindiana Jones will be back with more delightful adventures!
This was my first outdoor shoot; the nerves lasted about as long as it took me to undress, and there was a few moments of hiding behind a tree because I thought I heard an ATV slowing down at the gate over the hill. Was also informed that the renter checks cattle via drone, so no guarantee this was going to go unobserved. This is also my first body cage/harness. They are so incredibly sexy! I made this one myself!
I took a walk out in the sunshine and grass after this shoot but still nude. It was glorious!!! Cannot wait til my next visit home to do this again! The freedom, the physical sensations, it was all so much more than I had expected it to be; simply divine!!!
So… I’m not naked, I’m not gardening, and I’m a day late … but the spirit of the day was there!
I earned that sunburn competing in my first official HALF MARATHON this morning! 13.1mi in 3hr39min!!! My goal was to get it in under 4hr … 20min to spare was way better than I expected!!! Very happy! Very tired! Very sore!
Spring is in full bloom, and I was feeling sadly unadorned, so…
Monday: Interviewed with a local television station about my journey as a blind runner
Tuesday: PR’d my run times for 2mi, 1mi, 1/2mi, 1K, and 400m distances
Wednesday: recognized as a nominee for the 2020 Employee of the Year.
So, I’ve had a very good week! There is so much life to celebrate! (Which means more celebratory nudes, of course!) I’ve worked as a Quality Laboratory Technician (Lab Rat) for nearly two years. It’s my dream job (at the company I work at), and I’ve wanted it since the first week of my employment almost 12 years ago. Happiest lab rat ever! I was nominated by our Director of Quality this year as a candidate for Employee of the Year. While I did not receive that honor, the nomination and the respect, admiration, and acknowledgement of my professional prowess that comes with it are priceless to me. I greatly admire my two supervisors and to be put forward as a candidate by them is humbling and downright emotional (in a good way!).
I don’t have a lab coat at work. Our lab is climate controlled at 73 degrees and 50% humidity … which translates to uncomfortably tropical … which renders a lab coat ridiculous. And so, for this series of photos I’ve chosen an end-of-workday theme sans lab coat ….
This shoot seemed like it took forever! My remote is MIA so had to run back and forth between shots to set the camera timer. I guarantee you it has never taken me that long to get out of business attire and high heels!